rebecca
Hold this shape.
Sometimes the instruction comes while I am in plank, or Warrior II, or Tree Pose. I can hear my instructor’s bare feet padding along the soft rubber floors in the studio; I can feel the heat my body is generating, the quick beating of my heart as the muscles in my body hold fast to the bone. It’s not about how your body looks in this shape, my instructor says, but can you still breathe when things get uncomfortable?
The answer is: not always. Some days I meet changes with anger or fear, and some days I lash out at others for anxieties and frustrations that are mine to own. Some days my heart is full of all the broken pieces of me that I am trying to fit into the whole: saying I love you more, speaking up for myself more, freeing all these words inside of me more.
But some days my heart is full of all the broken pieces of me that have given a new shape to my wholeness: the toxic job that led me to the people I call my tribe, the foot injury that ended my running career and led me to yoga instead, the job layoff that led me to find the fierce warrior, advocate, and hustler within.
The purpose of yoga is not to master the poses, my yoga instructor says, but to learn how to be still and breathe in the present. Some days it is enough to be still, to be present and breathe in the shapes that will pass me by all too quickly if I’m not paying attention: the shape of my fingers when they intertwine with his, the shape of my laugh when I talk with my mom on Sunday mornings, the soft shape of my body when I sink into the couch with coffee and a book.
Some days, it is enough to hold this shape.
Some days it is enough to be still,
to be present and breathe in the shapes that will pass me by all too quickly if I’m not paying attention…
Some days it is enough to be still,
to be present and breathe in the shapes that will pass me by all too quickly if I’m not paying attention…
favorite things.
authors:
Alice Walker | Gloria Steinem | Barbara Kingsolver | Margaret Atwood
books:
His Dark Materials Trilogy | The Color Purple | Fahrenheit 451 | Brave New World
quotes:
“So Matilda’s strong young mind continued to grow, nurtured by the voices of all those authors who had sent their books out into the world like ships on the sea. These books gave Matilda a hopeful and comforting message: You are not alone.” – Roald Dahl, Matilda
“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I’ll meet you there.” – Rumi
“If you don’t know the exact moment when the lights will go out, you might as well read until they do.” – Clive James
“All the water in the world cannot drown you unless it gets inside of you.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
background & interests.
self care:
Reading | Yoga
professional background:
Degrees in English and Communications, with experiences writing in the legal and health care fields. Building a professional career as a marketing copywriter, while strengthening my portfolio and learning new skills as a freelance writer.
personal growth experiences:
Finding yoga | Being on both ends of company-wide layoffs at two different companies | Falling in love
recent posts.
Camel
As a heart-opener, camel requires a special element of trust, both in the universe and in the self. It demands a willingness to be vulnerable, to bare the throat and let it hang long and loose. It demands a willingness to expose the heart, to set it free and trust it to fly without fleeing the body.